The right first dildo is smaller and simpler than buyers typically assume. Marketing emphasises size; comfort and learning curve favour starting modest.
Beginner sizing
- Length: 12-15cm (4.7-6 inches). Long enough for full-depth use; short enough to control angle and depth easily.
- Diameter: 3-4cm (1.2-1.6 inches). Comfortable on first use; the body adapts to larger sizes with experience if desired.
- Shape: Smooth or lightly textured; not aggressively veined or ribbed for first-time use.
- Curve: Slight anterior curve targets the G-spot for vaginal use; straight is fine for anal use.
What the "average" size actually is
Most adult dildos at retail are sized at 15-18cm length and 4-5cm diameter, slightly larger than first-time use comfortable. UK research on average penile dimensions sits around 13cm erect length, 12cm circumference (about 3.8cm diameter). Matching average proportions doesn't require matching maximum marketing size.
Materials non-negotiables
- Platinum-cure silicone, non-porous; sterilisable; lasts 10+ years.
- Borosilicate glass, non-porous; firm; excellent for temperature play. Slightly less forgiving on angle.
- 316L stainless steel, premium; indestructible. Heavier sensation profile.
- Flared base, non-negotiable for any dildo that might be used anally.
Avoid TPE, jelly rubber, "real-skin", porous, can't be fully sterilised. See silicone vs TPE.
UK first-dildo picks
- Tantus Charmer (£40), platinum-cure silicone; smooth; perfect first-use size.
- Fun Factory Stub Vibrating (£60), small, vibrating, body-safe; UK-friendly distribution.
- We-Vibe Bond G-spot dildo (£40), smooth, slight curve, flared base.
- Lovehoney BASICS (£15), entry-level; reasonable for first-time. Smaller than the 7-inch "starter" sizes.
What to skip
- Anything over 18cm long as a first piece.
- Anything over 4.5cm diameter.
- Aggressively veined / hyper-realistic dildos. Texture matters more with comfort than first use needs.
- Jelly rubber / "ultra-soft" dildos. Material is not body-safe long-term.
- Dildos without flared bases, limits future use cases.
For broader vibrator context, see what's the safest first vibrator.