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Checklist Category

Power Exchange / D/s

Dominance and submission as a deliberate dynamic, whether scene-only or extended into the day-to-day. Power exchange is the meta-category that contains many other kinks; almost everything else gets more interesting (or less) depending on how the power balance is set.

Why this category matters

Power exchange is the category most often misread by partners. One person can be Dominant in bed and not at all in life; service submission is a different thing from masochism; titles and honorifics matter to some and embarrass others. The yes/maybe/no answers cut through the assumption.

The 10 activities in this category

For each, mark internally whether you would say yes, maybe, or no. Then take the full checklist to share it with a partner.

  1. 01 Taking a dominant role in a scene
  2. 02 Taking a submissive role in a scene
  3. 03 Switching between dominant and submissive
  4. 04 Following spoken commands from a partner
  5. 05 Giving spoken commands to a partner
  6. 06 Being addressed by a specific title (e.g. Sir/Miss)
  7. 07 Addressing a partner by a specific title
  8. 08 Negotiated 24/7 dynamic (continuous role)
  9. 09 Negotiated scene-only dynamic (bounded by start/end)
  10. 10 Being required to ask permission

Use the full tool

To save your answers and share them with a partner, use the full Yes/Maybe/No checklist. 10 activities here are part of 10 categories totalling 100 activities.

Open the full checklist →

Read on this category

  1. How to Introduce Bondage to Your Partner: A British Guide

    Bringing up bondage with a long-term partner is mostly a conversation, not a kit list. A patient British guide to the talk, the first piece, the words, and the after.

  2. How to Talk About Kink with a New Partner

    The conversation people put off too long, then have too quickly. A small framework for raising it well.

  3. Negotiating a Scene Without Killing the Mood

    How to negotiate a BDSM scene without it feeling like a form to fill in, and why the conversation can build anticipation rather than break it.

Related checklist categories

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