Strap-ons are versatile tools used by couples of every configuration. The mechanics are simple; the variety in harness and dildo combinations is significant.
How it works
A strap-on system has two parts:
- The harness, body-worn straps that hold the dildo in place at the pelvic area.
- The dildo, separate; chosen for size, shape, material. Attaches to the harness via O-ring (replaceable) or built-in mount.
The wearer (any anatomy) uses hip movement to penetrate the partner. The dildo doesn't move on its own; the wearer's pelvis provides the motion.
Harness types
Two-strap (jock-style)
- Sits like a jockstrap, band around waist; two straps under the thighs.
- Most comfortable for first wearers.
- Front-mounted dildo, standard pegging-style positioning.
- Allows clitoral pressure from the dildo base if positioned correctly.
- £35-£70 for quality.
Three-strap (G-string style)
- One strap between buttocks instead of under thighs.
- Leaves rear exposed, useful for simultaneous wearer anal stimulation.
- Slightly less stability than two-strap.
- £40-£80.
Brief / boyshort harness
- Fabric briefs with a built-in dildo mount.
- Most comfortable for long sessions, feels like underwear.
- Less adjustable, sized like clothing.
- £45-£90.
Hollow / strapless
- Worn internally by the wearer (no external straps).
- For users with vulvas, the internal end sits inside the wearer.
- Niche; positioning can be tricky.
Dildo selection
For first-time strap-on use:
- 3.5-4.5cm diameter (1.4-1.8 inches), start moderate.
- 12-17cm length, first-time strap-on rarely uses more.
- Platinum-cure silicone, body-safe; sterilisable.
- Flared base, non-negotiable; allows secure harness mount.
- Slight curve for prostate / G-spot angle.
UK first-strap dildos: Tantus Slick / Goddess (£40-£60), Fun Factory Stub (£60), Vixen Mustang Vixskin (£100).
Use cases
Pegging (woman → man)
Most-discussed use case. See pegging for the curious.
Same-sex couples
Lesbian couples and gay male couples both use strap-ons regularly. The mechanics are identical; the dynamic is the couple's.
Trans / non-binary couples
Strap-ons let any partner penetrate regardless of anatomy. The configuration is whatever works for the couple.
Switch dynamics
Couples where both partners enjoy penetrating sometimes own multiple strap-on dildos for variety.
UK strap-on starter picks
- Sportsheets Saffron Adjustable Harness (£45), two-strap; reliable entry-level.
- SpareParts Joque (£90), brief-style; long-session comfort.
- RodeoH Briefs (£60-£90), fabric brief harnesses in multiple cuts.
- Bondage Boutique Beginner Strap-On Kit (£40), entry-level harness + dildo combo.
What to skip
- Cheap fabric-strap-only harnesses, slip during use; uncomfortable.
- TPE / jelly dildos, porous; not body-safe.
- Hyperrealistic huge dildos as first piece.
- Suction-cup dildos without flared base for harness use, flared base is the security feature.
Use considerations
- Lubricant generously, 5× vaginal volume for anal use. Glycerin-free water-based with silicone dildos.
- Practice with the harness alone first, get used to the weight and positioning.
- Position and angle matter more than thrust depth or pace.
- Communication during, receiver guides the angle; giver follows.
See pegging guide and pegging UK couples guide.